Being angry sucks (and what to do about it)
A few weeks ago I blogged that there was a wee teeny tiny angry part of me, and how I'd had this brilliant idea that it was time to express it. Shortly after that post, I saw someone get beaten up. Then a person I'd dated twice tore a strip off me because he was having a bad day. (Actually he tore the strip off, put it back on, then tore it off again. See the waxing scene in 40 Year Old Virgin for visuals.)
So...this where the angry life leads, is it? It leads to angry people. Whether you believe in karma or in science, both profess that "like attracts like." If we are angry, we will attract anger. All you have to do is stop being angry and life will be ducky. Easy.
Unfortunately, curing anger is about as simple as curing chronic stomach problems--the solution is complex and different for everyone. For what it's worth, here was my approach to anger:
Age 9 - 20: Christianity and denial.
Age 21 - 26: Copious amounts of ecstasy, red wine, raving.
Age 27 - 31: Blamed my partner, my parents, my education, my government. Complained to a professional counsellor.
Age 32- 35: Yoga, dance, movement, exercise. Yelling in a car, corner or pillow. Travel.
Still, sometimes anger just appears out of nowhere. Unfortunately though, anger is a chicken. It often surfaces with someone who just happens to be in the right place at the wrong time and kerblammo! Like customer service reps, or slow traffic, or mothers, or the barrista who made the latte with insufficient foam.
In the book Practical Psychic Self Defense for Home and Office, Master Choa Kok Sui suggests that the only way to avoid anger is to send a blessing out to everyone we have intentionally or unintentionally been angry at. To send a blessing: open your palms, visualize the person or say their name, focus on your heart, feel love and send the person love. This, he says, will not only heal that relationship, but will change what a person is attracting. Sounds easy enough. No deposit or self-flaggelation required. So ok. Sure. I'll give it a whirl and get back to you. Maybe my life will become a petrie dish of love? Maybe I will become a human care bear?
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Reader Comments (2)
I was an ANGRY, BI-A-TCH this morning. I tried your technique focusing my energy on to my source of anger—my husband. And without a doubt it worked! he called me a few hours later with a sweetness in his voice, as if begging to forget why we had argued the last night.
It's bullet proof!
You? A bi-a-tch? Ce n'est pas possible! Actually one thing I really love about you is your ability to express a wide range of emotions and to communicate your feelings to others. Seems like you are doing pretty well even without the Tao Masters! Love you and miss you.